I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
