I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
