I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
