I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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