yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
