You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize