ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Barsexuality is the new black.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
