Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
