I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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