he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
