You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
