He asked me if I "almost moaned"
handjob tips. give me some.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i believe in u and ur pee
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
