She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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