Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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