Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
