Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
