you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
