Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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