You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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