So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
