well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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