she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
