he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
