respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
