Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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