i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
