she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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