my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
