so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize