After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The feeling are messing with the penis
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
