is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
