just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
