awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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