im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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