I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
