Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
