I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
