I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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