Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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