we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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