That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
