Little spoons don't ask big questions
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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