suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize