she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You're like the curious george of whores
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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