The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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