He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
