I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize