She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize