Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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