i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize