they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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