are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize