the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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