it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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