Its about making memories worth repressing
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
