OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize