To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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