Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Buhtt sex?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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