I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
