dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
