I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
