If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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