AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
